Tuesday, 29 March 2011

You guys are the best thing that's ever been mine

i came to realize that there are some things i have to let out for this to come to an end
I've never felt like i am now
exaggerating but its like a big part of your life being robbed away
withdrawal symptoms.
maybe you can call it so
4 years 
who can deny the attachment, passion and bonds we had formed
with the game, with the sports, with the team, with our friends
once, we played like there will never be an end
it will never be quite the same again
maybe it wont be so painful for me if i had not left so many regrets and guilts over the 4 years

4 years
from a newbie to a senior
from C'div to B'div
time to time, i regret the decision of joining volleyball 
i regret making so much sacrificial 
but right now, i will never say i regret anymore
theres no memories as beautiful as this

guilts and regrets
i regret not making an effort
to be unable to stand with you guys
and only stand by you all. this is greatest regret i have 
it only seems to struck me when jiaolian talked to me tat day
i could have stand close by you guys. 
could have made my volleyball end with less regret
but i gave up too easily 
why? i ask myself that. 
thats no answer. 
foolish? stupidity? maybe all. 
filled with guilt
toward all of you, i never seems to do enough 
for the team, for the game, for jiaolian
somehow i realise, since tat day, i tried to make amendments unconsciously/consciously,
 through someone else, 
selfish i guess
but tats no other way for me.
i cant do it already, i hope someone else will be able to fight better and stronger for the team 
and im glad she did(: 

we've all grown up through this 4 years
ive seen myself grow too
from someone who would curse and blame when the team wasn't doing quite well enough 
to someone who truthfully hope you are will be able to keep up the spirit
and from a team that cares too much on individual
to a team tat is willing to depend on each other
i see myself grow up, i see the team matures
its heart-warming

to each individuals, i cant say enough thanks
cheryl, crystal, yanjing, maureen, charissa
thanks for holding through the 4 years with me
you guys are the most wonderful teammates ever
i rmb how i used to dislike some of you
how i would use the 'cant be bothered with you' attitude on you
but its all in the past! 
i love every single one of you now
i cant fake, u guys should know it. 

there are too many things to say, 
cant express them the way it should be, blame it on my poor English. 

all in all, its the end of out cedar volleyball life, 
it may or may not be the end of my volleyball life, theres no definite 
just wants to thank everyone of you
seniors, sec 4s, juniors, jiaolian
for the memories i hold in cedar volleyball
Ive learnt and experience alotalot
Cedar Bdiv'10
Cedar Bdiv'11

to the juniors: 

we are a team and we will always be
the bond and friendship stays even when the game is over
one day, we will come all back again and play like theres no ending

i love you all 


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