Friday, 1 April 2011

im losing myself

thinking about what am i actually doing currently these days
i need to set my priorities right again
i feel like life is upside down now 
im losing focus
im getting off track 
and this is no good at alllll

yes, study should be my top priority
im SEC4 now and O's is in a few months time! 
i don have the time to slack and study last minute like i always did last time already
its different this time 
i need to get my 6. 
its not a choice anymore if i want to get into HCI or VJ
but im not working hard enough
i will suffer with my English currently i swear
to get an A1 for all my maths and science doesnt seems tat difficult previously
but it feels like  killer subjects now! 
whats wrong with me! 
oh man! gotta buck up before i regret and its too late.


secondly, blog shop
my passion for fashion shopping party is still there
i know because of my studies 
i need to cut down on whatever fun and enjoyment i would love to have 
but still im a human being, i cant stop completely i would die
furthermore, im doing a blog shop currently and it will require quite alot of my attention and time
will have to manage my time really well 
so that im not gonna let my bs affects my academics performances

yeahh im 48kg 166cm now
somehow a fatty to me 
i want to lose at least 5kg
to 43kg
some of u may think that im crazy
say that im not even fat or whatsoever
yeahyeahyeah i get you.
but my weight isnt the ideal weight and look for me
i want to be bone skinny. not the way i am now.
so.. yes. i shall lose weight! ((: 

no idea why i have this very lost feelings these days. 
nothing seems to be going on right
now that volleyball has come to an end
i believe i have more time to get everything back to track
today when mr chan actually shake my hands and say to me 
'6 pointer ah!' 
i actually felt motivated
but at the same time burdened. 
how many people actually thinks/wish that i can get my 6 points. 
i cant say that i don feel the stress
but im really afraid of the disappointment
to me and to them 
 but of course, no matter what, i know i need the 6 points for MYSELF 

and i really dono whats wrong with me these days.
im suppose to be concentrating on my studies! 
but im actually thinking of joining some classes outside/ learn by myself 
things like dance/ piano/drums/guitar/ whatever. theres so many in mind i think im crazy
theres no way i can learn all of course
but i think i will take up something
shall see how it goes den! (: 

 a brandnew beginning
a tedious but i believe fruitful journey(: 

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